Poetry Instruction Manual, Chap. 1

Hey!! Haven’t you ever dreamed of being a poet? You know, grow a goatee, wear black and scribble profound nonsense for the acclaim of other people in black with goatees. I know it’s a dream close to the heart of every American, the only problem is finding the time to do all that creative stuff. It’s difficult to come up with all that esoteric symbolism. Luckily the finite jester is here to help.

Here’s what you do. 3 simple steps.

1. Grab writing implements.

2. Settle into your favorite seat facing the television.

3. While watching TV, jot down any lines from the show that strike your fancy.

And there you have it, you’re creating art! Stuff that’s every bit as bizarre as anything else modern poetry has ever put out. Soon you too can be basking in the glowing admiration of all sorts of people. Just remember, the poetic lifestyle is a tough one, I’ll be back soon with more advice on how to adopt the proper attitude to complete the image.

In the meantime, enjoy some of the jester’s fine attempts at television poetry.

TV Poem 1

tomorrow you will learn by doing
some days we don’t let the line move at all
so when are we gonna get rowdy
you’ve had your glory
i’ll prove i can keep your secret
why waste your hypnotic powers on neighbors and co-workers
i guess fate was against us
i thought we trusted each other with our secrets now
it’s getting too commercial
are you laughing at me?

TV Poem 2

i cannot absolve sins
please call me snake
captivity blows
we gotta find a way out of here
years of wandering the desert
but after that it’s clear sailing
get yourself another hero

You see! Gosh those are good, and I’m sure that you can see the vast untapped potential here. Happy Poeting!!!