faith

i must believe in something.

and in truth i do, but it’s little more than a fragmentary collage of impressions and ideals that has proven inherently fragile in the face of reality.

it seems that i have no faith in reality, or rather that my beliefs are continuously trying to overcome reality.

sadly, such is the nature of belief.

i have this romantic vision of existence, and since i keep trying to live in accordance with a set of rules i’ve deduced from said romantic assumptions; when i crash, and find myself in these painful situations, it is reality that is at fault.

of course, finding fault with reality is simply a continuation of my romantic vision, and i have a hard time keeping my actions in true accordance with my romantic vision.

the rules that guide my actions are mostly compromises of my ideals, which remain largely untried.